July 29, 2011
July 28, 2011
Strange
I got a really weird message last night… more like a bunch of weird messages really. It was pretty bizarre and totally unexpected. See, my gay friend messages me up last night telling me how cute and sexy I was… and that I make him horny sometimes. Umm… yeah… Also he mentioned that on occasions, he has dreams of me and him having sex and that it turned him on. That I was incredibly fit (which in the UK means good looking) and that he was pathetic from telling me all of these things because he doesn’t find himself attractive.
…. He said all of these in 4 separate messages in my other blog.
Now, here’s my dilemma: I don’t know how to respond to him. I mean, it’s no secret that I like him. It’s pretty much common knowledge already that I’d hook up with him given the chance. I’m sure he knows that as well. So if he liked me back sexually, why not go for it?
Thing is when he sent those messages to me, he was drunk. No, beyond drunk! I could tell. When he sent me the messages, they were spelled incorrectly and had some of the letters in a word all jumbled up. Plus, he mentioned that he was plastered in his messages. Oh god. I remember him saying he was watching porn while typing those while his friends were downstairs partying.
I’m confused. I don’t know if he actually has genuine feelings for me or whether or not all of those things he said was from the alcohol. I don’t know if I should go for it or not. I mean, I’m scared of coming on to him only for him to reject me because he never did like me that way. Alcohol makes you do crazy stuff. I should know, I’ve had a first hand experience in Paris, but that’s another story. So yeah, I don’t know if he actually likes me or not (without the alcohol influence).
Sigh. Some people just need to be monitored when they’re drunk so they don’t go out sending cryptic, potentially-sexually-frustrating messages to people.
…. He said all of these in 4 separate messages in my other blog.
Now, here’s my dilemma: I don’t know how to respond to him. I mean, it’s no secret that I like him. It’s pretty much common knowledge already that I’d hook up with him given the chance. I’m sure he knows that as well. So if he liked me back sexually, why not go for it?
Thing is when he sent those messages to me, he was drunk. No, beyond drunk! I could tell. When he sent me the messages, they were spelled incorrectly and had some of the letters in a word all jumbled up. Plus, he mentioned that he was plastered in his messages. Oh god. I remember him saying he was watching porn while typing those while his friends were downstairs partying.
I’m confused. I don’t know if he actually has genuine feelings for me or whether or not all of those things he said was from the alcohol. I don’t know if I should go for it or not. I mean, I’m scared of coming on to him only for him to reject me because he never did like me that way. Alcohol makes you do crazy stuff. I should know, I’ve had a first hand experience in Paris, but that’s another story. So yeah, I don’t know if he actually likes me or not (without the alcohol influence).
Sigh. Some people just need to be monitored when they’re drunk so they don’t go out sending cryptic, potentially-sexually-frustrating messages to people.
Katy Perry had...
Alexander Rodriguez
Matt Dallas
Josh Kloss
Richie Nuzzolese
And she picks this guy:
July 27, 2011
Fitting In
It's bad enough that I find it hard to fit in society because of my sexuality. I've got to work thrice as harder as the normal straight guy because of the simple fact that I like boys. My parents have vocally addressed their concerns about me being gay and now, I gotta work harder to please them. Plus, I've got to work harder to fit in with the crowd. A few of my girl friends' boyfriends are wary to be around me because they think that I might jump on them... Uh, really? Just how ignorant can you be? Just because I like boys doesn't mean I'm going to jump onto any hot guy I see. That's just insulting.
And ironic as it may be, I'm having a difficult time fitting in the gay society as well. Well, more specifically among my gay friends.
See, a lot of them fit the stereotypes of what a gay man is: effeminate, wears make-up, unusually high pitched voices, and thoroughly into fashion. There are a lot of times wherein I cannot relate to any single thing they're saying because all they talk about is clothes, designers, photographers, etc. Why? Well because those things don't really interest me at all.
Instead of fawning over the latest clothing line of a famous designer, I'd rather go ahead and boot me up some video games and play until the wee hours of the morning. I may not know the latest designer bags or latest clothing down the runway, but if you need to know the latest video games, television shows, comic books, indie music then I'm your guy. I'm a geek. Well, a gay geek to be exact.
It's not that I don't like being around my friends, but it does get frustrating sometimes wherein you can't join in the conversation because you just can't relate. I love them, but I a lot of the times, I get really shy and tongue tied around them.
Hmm... Maybe I need to get out more. Maybe I need to put myself out there and find people with the same interests as me.
And ironic as it may be, I'm having a difficult time fitting in the gay society as well. Well, more specifically among my gay friends.
See, a lot of them fit the stereotypes of what a gay man is: effeminate, wears make-up, unusually high pitched voices, and thoroughly into fashion. There are a lot of times wherein I cannot relate to any single thing they're saying because all they talk about is clothes, designers, photographers, etc. Why? Well because those things don't really interest me at all.
Instead of fawning over the latest clothing line of a famous designer, I'd rather go ahead and boot me up some video games and play until the wee hours of the morning. I may not know the latest designer bags or latest clothing down the runway, but if you need to know the latest video games, television shows, comic books, indie music then I'm your guy. I'm a geek. Well, a gay geek to be exact.
It's not that I don't like being around my friends, but it does get frustrating sometimes wherein you can't join in the conversation because you just can't relate. I love them, but I a lot of the times, I get really shy and tongue tied around them.
Hmm... Maybe I need to get out more. Maybe I need to put myself out there and find people with the same interests as me.
Teen Wolf has the hottest male cast
I mean, just look at them.
But Jackson beats them all.
Just saying...
So much for alarm clocks...
Today I woke up at 11 am when I had four alarm clocks set-up for 8am.
I didn't hear any of those rings. I must have been really dead to the world.
I didn't hear any of those rings. I must have been really dead to the world.
Can I just say how attractive Dodger (played by Danny Mac) in Hollyoaks is??
I'd do him in a heartbeat.
July 26, 2011
Closure
Okay, so he finally responded to my e-mail and we talked about our situation. I guess it's good to have this sense of closure.
I've never really told you guys about the exact why I broke up with this guy. Let's just say my parents and I had a very heated discussion over the way I've been spending my money on... Or rather whom I'm spending it on. That wasn't a very pleasant conversation. To be truly honest, that confrontation was probably the lowest point I have had in my entire life.
When he heard this part, he adamantly apologized for being selfish with regards to the phone calls (my last bill was over a hundred dollars, crazy huh?) and the way he wants to meet and talk ALL the time. Not that I'm against that, but there are certain limits you know.
And then it came to the point wherein he mentioned the fact that I broke up with him online. Well, there was a part of me that was afraid of confronting him directly, but the bigger reason why I did it that way was because I can't talk to him without remembering the awful things my parents said to me during our 'little' conversation.
In the end, I said I can't communicate with him as much as I did before we started dating. Thinking about him brings the things my parents said back to the surface. I need time to heal.
So, that means, I'm single... again.
I've never really told you guys about the exact why I broke up with this guy. Let's just say my parents and I had a very heated discussion over the way I've been spending my money on... Or rather whom I'm spending it on. That wasn't a very pleasant conversation. To be truly honest, that confrontation was probably the lowest point I have had in my entire life.
When he heard this part, he adamantly apologized for being selfish with regards to the phone calls (my last bill was over a hundred dollars, crazy huh?) and the way he wants to meet and talk ALL the time. Not that I'm against that, but there are certain limits you know.
And then it came to the point wherein he mentioned the fact that I broke up with him online. Well, there was a part of me that was afraid of confronting him directly, but the bigger reason why I did it that way was because I can't talk to him without remembering the awful things my parents said to me during our 'little' conversation.
In the end, I said I can't communicate with him as much as I did before we started dating. Thinking about him brings the things my parents said back to the surface. I need time to heal.
So, that means, I'm single... again.
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