Breaking Up

So one of the few reasons why I decided to get a blogspot was so I could talk about my love life, or whatever remnants of a love life could be. Reason why I couldn’t do it on Tumblr was because the guy I most recently dated was one of my followers so it’d be awkward for me to post something about him when he can read it and send me backlash. Notice the word ‘dated’? Means we recently stopped seeing each other. More specifically, I stopped seeing him.

In normal circumstances, I’d probably wouldn’t be bothered with this since we only went to two dates and we haven’t done anything sexual at all Heck, we haven’t even kissed at all. But for some reason, I’m feeling really crummy and sort of a jerk. Why?

Well… I kinda dumped him through an e-mail. It’s a cowardly thing to do, I know. If I were in his shoes, I’d probably be furious with me as well. I guess I’m feeling guilty about the way I sort of broke the news with him. I mean, I feel like Joe Jonas calling up Taylor Swift for crying out loud! My fear of confrontation totally jacked me up there… Oh well, you learn from your mistakes right?

With regards to the message itself, he hasn’t replied to it at all. I guess he’s bitter. I’m feeling the hurt since his friends aren’t talking to him either… which is weird, because I knew them before I even met him, so they’re technically my friends too… Now I’m not sure if he’s mad because I dumped him or because I did it through e-mail. Maybe both? Considering, he’s the one who’s more emotionally invested throughout our 1 month of dating. He can’t say I didn’t try though. I mean, I called him up in the middle of the night (leading to astronomical phone bills) and bought him lots of gifts so he doesn’t have the right to say that I never did care for him. 

Now, everything is so awkward between us. I follow him in both Twitter and Tumblr and whenever I see his posts, I kinda feel ashamed/awkward/annoyed… Is it possible to feel all those three emotions from a sentence that is 140 characters or less? … Never mind, don’t answer that. My dilemma now is whether or not I should unfollow him? Would that possibly terminate any semblance of a friendship I hope we could gather from this wreckage? Aahh… Decisions, decisions.

Currently listening to: The Weight of The World- Sanders Bohlke (how very, very, VERY fitting at this moment)